Just A Guy On A Board

It's been a while, but I used to love to ride a see-saw. Remember what that feels like? The sensation of flying, propelled by leveraged force from somebody on the other end of the board. Something in my soul has a strikingly clear recollection of legs dangling, suspended, at the mercy of the one whose weight anchors the other side. If they don't keep up their end of the bargain - the "up/down" agreement - you're helpless, unless you jump.

If you are local (Richmond/Powhatan) and attend PCC, you saw a great visual aid this morning at the Powhatan campus. Brian delivered part of his message on the book of Jude while delicately balanced upon a huge see saw.

He focused on the need to have balance in life. Grace and holy living - both necessary and essential in spiritual terms, but only potent in a positive sense when there is balance. The see saw was a great prop to show what happens when we lean too far to one extreme. Too much attention to law and behaviors and checklists of "being good" and thwack - the sharp angle of the board is a great metaphor for the slippery slope of imbalance. Take too much comfort in the wide swath of grace and the board tilts the other way - but the sharp angle yields the same result. You just fall in a different direction.

I watched Brian on the board. The weight of his body on one side of the see-saw - metaphorically leaning hard into holy living, for example - jacked the other end of the board up in the air. Whichever he chose - grace or holy living - set the balance of the board. And with a see-saw as a metaphor, you can take the logical next step.

There's got to be somebody else on that playground apparatus - a partner on the other end of the board. Without it, you're just a guy, standing on a board.

We all get to choose, you know. Not only for ourselves and the internal decisions we make, but also in how we approach others. How we treat people. How we tweak our expectations. Holiness and grace are applicable as we examine our own lives, but they weave in and through our interactions with others as well.

So here's part two of that message today, at least the part that I needed to hear.

When I interact with others - whether on an "official" basis as part of ministry responsibilities, or even with my kids, the clerks at DMV, the checker at Food Lion, the guy next to me at the red light - I'm living in that tension. I can choose to act or react leaning towards grace or leaning into just being right. If I'm not actively trying to balance my own actions - which is harder than it looks, as we saw today - I'm the weight. I'm a hundred pounds of force, glueing one side of that board to the ground.

And what happens to the person on the other side? My friends, my kids, my husband, my coworkers, the lady with 20 items in the express line? As far as our interaction goes, they're dangling - at the mercy of my choice. Any chance for an even dialogue can be tainted by my approach.

It matters. We're covered in grace, but how we act, what we do and say - not only our personal actions, but in community - it matters. We're not just a guy, standing on a board.

Here's the wrap up, from Jude himself. Worth thinking about this week.

But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life! Go easy on those who hesitate in the faith. Go after those who take the wrong way. Be tender with sinners, but not soft on sin. The sin itself stinks to high heaven. -Jude 20 - 24, The Message

You Make Beautiful Things Out Of Us

Several folks asked about the closing song for yesterday's PCC services. At Westchester, Lindsay sang; at Powhatan, Elijah and Travis did it.

It's from one of the most powerful albums I've listened to in several years. In it's entirety, Beautiful Things by The Michael Gungor Band is an incredible journey through humanity, our desperate love for God and his brilliant grace.

The title tune alone is masterful. You may have experienced it yesterday in one of our services. If not, catch a glimpse here of the artists' unique spin on an acoustic version.

And then try to get hold of the cd and experience the entire thing.

And thank God for moments of transcendental beauty.

Amen.

A Final Sunday

We sang our songs in the high school today for the last time.

Nothing too remarkable about the set list - most of it wasn't chosen for closure. We did "Let The Praises Ring" and "Friend of God", threw in a 33 Mile tune called "Just One of Those Days" to set up the message and then capped things off with "God of This City", which WAS intended to give us a way to appreciate the end of our time at PHS.

It did.

I love to hear the church sing. I heard you all today, loud and clear. It gave me chills.

My heart cracked a bit as we closed the 11:00 service. I remember arriving in Powhatan, sitting in those seats and crying for weeks on end, broken. I remember sitting behind Mandy and Angie James and their introductions and subsequent love and attention to my girls.

I remember Jaime Lloyd and my first Christmas Eve service, desperately sad, missing my kids. I remember writing a song called "This Is Who I Am" and being invited to sing for the first time - and reluctantly saying, "yes".

I remember faces that have come and gone; messages that have changed my heart. Music we have played, songs we have sung. Things we tried that worked well and others that were not so well-received.

I remember Better Days and hostile, singing Christmas trees. I remember fake weddings and "Live Like You Were Dying" and the day we took Brian shopping for cool clothes. I remember Imagine Christmas and wild percussionists. I remember Finance Man. I remember Bob Pino as Abraham, six weeks in a row. I remember the Unity Service. I remember Brian singing "I Will Worship You" and Mandy dancing. I remember Kevin singing "I Boast No More". I remember Small Group Olympics and laughing like crazy. I remember "Losing My Way" and "Colored People".

There is so much.

I'm trying to appreciate the process here, knowing that we walk away from one place and a certain set of experiences into a new future, brimming with hope and greater things that are yet to come. I know that there is so much still to come.

But today was hard. I am mourning the loss of something that's intangible, a very concrete part of the way God has dealt with me in the past six years. It's not without pain.

And never without promise.

For those of you reading who are at PCC, leave a comment; tell me what you remember. I'd love to know.

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord... - Jeremiah 29.11

It's Amazing What A Little Whining Will Get You

If you were at PCC on Sunday, you heard our pastor's sad story about his inability to get his hands on the snack food in the house - specifically, the Oreos. After admitting to compromising his integrity and being busted by his amazing wife, apparently some folks felt sorry for him.

This is just PART of his new private stash, thanks to some kind and generous folks who have stopped by to show their love for their pastor. Or maybe it's more like enabling his addiction....

God And Dog

Of all the great things that have come out of today's PCConline service, I think this might be my favorite. Not only because of what it is - which is incredibly creative and clever - but also because of how I heard about it.

A Twitter-er who goes by the g00g01p1ex tag watched with us last week. I'm not sure how she heard about the service, but she did. She came back again this week, and Tweeted me a link to this video in response to the grace-filled talk that Brian gave today.

Take a look; if you heard today's message, do you see the connection?

Thanks, Leslie....

Snow Days

Here's a few snapshots from behind the scenes of Sunday's online church broadcast.

I'm revisiting the event. I have a lot to process, you know...thinking about what we did and how it worked...and wondering what we would do differently next time.

I'm thinking about that a LOT.

We're sitting under 13" of snow right now - school cancelled today and tomorrow for most of the area. Expecting more precipitation tomorrow.

AND ANOTHER BIG DUMPING OF SNOW FRIDAY AND SATURDAY.

When I lived in Ohio, this was a way of life. But here? The Old Dominion can't seem to cope.

And I'm beginning to wonder what we might have to do NEXT WEEKEND if we can't get into the high school to have church services...

So - here's my question to those of you who witnessed last week's episode of PCCOnline:

What are two things that we could do to improve your

live, online worship experience?

Your comments are welcome below....

Our neighbors - Shelly, Macy (the most incredible reading genius ever!) and April - and me, doing some tech cramming at the last minute...

Brian, doing a last-minute read-through of the message...

Our neighbor Chad, who ran the camera and kept the tech part together.

The "congregation" - at least the part that we could see - which consisted of all of our kids.

Sarah and Andy leading worship.

God Speaks In My Bathroom

I spent most of Saturday preparing for streaming our 'PCCOnline Experience'. Typically, it takes an hour or two of weekend prep time to make sure that we have everything lined up for church - but this was completely different. Lots of technical issues and things that were completely unfamiliar to me; I was feeling a bit of pressure.

When I woke Sunday morning, I made some coffee, started getting ready and found myself overwhelmed with all that we ought to do - what we shouldn't do - what had to go right - what couldn't go wrong...

And at one point, with a million thoughts going through my brain, I thought, "Well, at least we'll have a good time doing this." With Brian and his family coming over, plus Chad and his crew, Andy and Lori and my entire family, I knew that it would be fun.

At that moment, I felt - as I have before - the gentle, corrective voice of God. Sometimes it sounds like my conscience. Sometimes it's just seemingly random wisdom. Often, it happens in my bathroom (go figure).

This time, it was strong and gentle - affirming and authoritative.

"THIS ISN'T JUST FUN. THIS IS FOR REAL.

THIS IS CHURCH.

THIS IS WORSHIP.

THIS IS COMMUNITY.

THIS MATTERS."

Whoa.

I stopped, dead in my tracks in my bathroom. And I sat down to pray.

My perspective changed, immediately. I understood that more than just some fun use of technology or a fun experiment, this was something definitive and intentional to which God had called us. The snow provided the circumstance and opportunity - but God orchestrated our response. Looking backwards beyond my stress and tension, I could see more clearly.

And I got it.

What happened today fit the mission statement of PCC. It helped us reflect the goodness of God and our passion for Him.

And it's given us so much food for thought.

Thanks for being there; thanks for the feedback, the real-time discussion. Thanks for telling your friends.

It was a good day.

Why Your Spiritual Life Matters

"We like to make a distinction between our private and public lives and say, “Whatever I do in my private life is nobody else’s business.” But anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.

Jesus says, “No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house” (Matthew 5:14-15). The most inner light is a light for the world. Let’s not have “double lives”; let us allow what we live in private to be known in public." - Henri Nouwen

I believe this to be true.

The privilege of speaking on Sunday morning and revealing the truth about my past continues to resonate with me. Truth-telling is healing.

This process has been long; it began years ago and culminated in many ways with Sunday's talk. But it continues still. Countless people have contacted me via email and Facebook to raise their hand, to say, "Me too!", to get something off of their chest, to tell me about further conversation that happened in their family.

If you are one of those people, how I wish you knew how much company you had!

I continue to need to read words like Nouwen's above, and to be reminded that every day must be lived with intentionality. Walking in the light is a choice.

HT to Cynthia, my blogging friend, who wrote about her weekend here.

Sunday Setlist 10.4.09

What a day at church today.

It's the second week of our WIRED series (if you don't yet have a devotional book, pick one up at the office this week or at the resource table at church).

Our community sadly is mourning the loss of Charlie Green, a fine man and passionate community servant. Because his funeral would be at the high school this afternoon (also our Sunday morning home), we made a few changes to our plans and shortened the second service considerably in order to accommodate the set up needs for the funeral.

We did not bring in the incredible set that our design team put together last week; just kept things bare today, with a minimal band. We also made a last minute change to the closing song to better connect the end of the message. I have to give major props to the band, who didn't blink when I brought them a new chart this morning. It's an amazing gift to work with such talented people who also have their hearts in the right place.

Here's what we did today:

Preservice: Rain Down - David Crowder This was extra special because Elijah Schiarelli emailed us a loop he created to open the song. He's away at college, but he was with us in spirit today. Great song, great loop, great way to walk in.

Lift Him Up - Martha Munizzi Love, love, LOVE this song. Inspired by seeing Bruce Hornsby live at The National, I had a blast playing for Sandy. I think we managed to rock this song to bits. One of my ALL-TIME favorite worship pieces.

scripture As I underscored on the grand, Angie read an excerpt from Isaiah 53, originally planned to support that passage later in the message. It ended up getting cut from the message, but it was a beautiful segue into the next tune.

Jesus Messiah - Chris Tomlin This tune seems to be a winner across the board - singable, Biblical, true. Powerful.

How He Loves - Jon Mark McMillan If you made it to the 9:30 service, you got to hear Matt Turner lead this tune (we lean into the David Crowder version). It was awesome. We had to cut it from the second service due to time - but it will reappear in the very near future.

Thirsty During the offering time, we showed this short video during first service (due to time constraints, we pulled the vid for second service. If you were at PCC today for the 11:00 service and missed it, you can check it out here).

Worth It All - Rita Springer A great song to close the message and emphasize the point: it is worth it all, no matter what, in light of Jesus.

There are days when I really, really love my church - the experience, the teamwork, the unity, the worship we offer. today was one. Don't get me wrong - I am always grateful for the faith community that is Powhatan Community Church. But today was unique, from the musical team to the set up and tear down crew that worked so hard, with such great attitudes.

It was, indeed, a very good day.

This post is part of the Sunday Setlist Carnival hosted by Fred McKinnon. Hop on over to Fred's blog to find out what other churches did today...

What If Jesus Were Attacked By A Polar Bear?

We all have questions.  Some seem a bit more...well, creative...than others.  Still, it is our nature to wonder why, to push back, to look for answers.

What are some of your questions?  Particularly when it comes to religion, and Jesus, and God and creation and the church?  What are you thinking about?

Thanks to Tim Stevens for the video link...

Everything At PCC

Proud of my church and our creative team.

Proud of my kids, too. That's one dancing with Jesus, and one giving her a hard time about her hair....

Porn Is Bad. Don't Do It.

Today's service - on porn - was particularly meaningful to me. 

I was exposed to porn as a child.  It had a profound affect on me. It really messed with my self-image. To this day, I'm impacted by the thought that I'm supposed to look/act/be like those earliest images. It's been a real struggle at times.  

I can safely say that I'm through the worst of that, but it's been a challenge to my confidence and view of myself as a beloved daughter of God.  I'm not going into the details here, but I would like to say this:

Porn is bad.  Don't do it.

Seriously, I think the impact on the person who is using is devastating - but the greater risk is to those around you who might be exposed.  I'm speaking, specifically, about the kids around you who might stumble upon your books or magazines or web pages or dvds or cable channels.  And don't kid yourself.  It'll happen.

This is a hot button issue for me, so I'm going to get on my soap box. I'm not often dogmatic about right and wrong, but on this issue, it's black and white as far as I'm concerned.  Let me share just a bit about what I know porn can do to a young person.

Porn creates a secret.  Dysfunction begins with secrets.  Secrets bind anxiety.  One of the greatest ways to screw up a family - whether it's you, a single dad with kids; or you, a single mom with kids; or you, big brother or sister; or you, grandpa; or you, a cool aunt; or you, with your roommates:  no matter who you are, when you invite porn into your life, you crack the door open to influence all the people who are part of your life.  It's a huge risk.

Porn violates innocence.  For my part, I learned how to define myself, my body image, my idea of beauty through porn.  I've fought that battle all my life.  Others are going through the same struggles.  Are you willing to wreck the natural development of a kid just to feed your lust?  

Porn warps natural sexual devlopment. Early discoveries of sexual images define and shape one's understanding of their sexuality.  This post is not an appropriate place for that sort of detailed discussion, but use some common sense.  Here's an easy example:  How many girls see a Victoria's Secret ad - on tv or in print - and don't walk away thinking that's the definition of a desireable, sexy woman?  And how many boys see that and expect that to be how a woman should look and act?  Take that road a bit further and think about what expectations boys and girls have regarding their intimate lives after being influenced by porn.

Porn is bad.  Don't do it.

I never forgot what I'd seen and read.  It stayed with me into my adult life.  After I got serious about my relationship with God, I was actively involved in a church and committed to following Christ - but I grew to believe that there was a huge blackness in me where this sin lived. I felt, literally, as though the inner part of my heart was black. I was "okay" in every other way, but I had this filthy thing burned into me that was my cross to bear, my sin, my thorn, a part of me that would never be gone. I felt different than everybody else. I felt as though I could never say anything to anybody. I never told anyone.  The secret of porn had burned into my soul.

Through an amazing turn of events, God opened some doors for me to come clean and to live in freedom.  There is no blackness in me, no condemnation, no darkness.  There is only grace. Those images are gone.  The slate's been wiped clean.  But it took some intentional steps and a willingness - even a desperation - to be free.  

If you want to hear the details of how God led me through this mess, let me know.

If you have any issue at all with pornography, do something about it.  

And if you need somebody to talk to, you can find me at beth {at} powhatancc {dot} com.

And yes, just for the record - I DO think Victoria's Secret ads qualify as porn.