Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Thoughts

It's Thanksgiving Eve. The house is quiet - just me, the laptop and a little mindless television. It's been a busy day.

We had a house full of fun and food and laughter all afternoon. We call it "Fake Thanksgiving", and it's an every-other-year event. My favorite holiday - I can't stand to skip it when the kids spend the "official" holiday with their dad. We just pretend Wednesday is Thursday and nobody seems to mind. Elijah and Travis are here, on break from school, and their presence filled the house in a joyous way. Katie joined us as well, and the touchstone of her presence throughout the last several years - in our lives and also with my parents - made her place at the table very special.

Plus Katie brought pies. But that's another (delicious) (fattening) subject.

I'm a very thankful girl these days. Little things settle in my heart and give me great peace. The house is clean and uncluttered (for MY standards, anyway!) My family is safe and sound. My parents are healthy and present in our lives. My job is rewarding and fulfilling. My friendships are solid and meaningful. I love a man deeply and powerfully and truly and he loves me in return.

I've arrived at some point in life that seems to mark a turning of sorts. As if I am standing on the edge of a river, about to step forward. It's the truth, actually; much is changing. My kids are growing older - I'm learning to parent young adults, which is much more of a challenge than I ever imagined it would be. I'm reevaluating my role in my workplace and excited about what lies ahead and what challenges and opportunities await our community. I'm about to enter into a partnership with a man - a marriage - that feels so new and unique and unlike anything I've ever done, and yet will be settling and familiar.

Seems like I'm growing up. I find it somewhat disturbing that it's taken me 46 years to get to this point. Aren't I a bit late to the game?

Is this the way other people in their forties feel? I mean, for all these years, I looked at people in this stage of life and assumed that they had things figured out. Seemed like you live this long, get your kids halfway or mostly raised, and you had it together. By this point, you had the house, the cars, paid the bills, worked your job, knew the ropes. Knew who you were.

But I'm looking at my friends who are my age and I'm thinking, "Shoot - they are still figuring it out as they go along - just like me." And I KNOW that I'm still stubbing my toe on the big and small issues of life.

So being a grown up must be relative, I guess.

I do know this - there are some lessons I have learned. Some mistakes have paid dividends. Perseverance has paid off. Love always wins. Investment in children is never wasted.

Some things I'm starting to get.

There's my Thanksgiving ruminations. Tomorrow I'll hang out with my parents and be thankful - so very thankful - for all that has been and all that is to come.


9 comments:

Bill said...

3:30 am.....wake up...can't get back to sleep......4:30 am ....can't sleep.....come out to the computer and check bloglines and sure enough...you've posted. Love the picture of you and your Mom and your "fake" thanksgiving "cheer!" Read your post and realize how good life is....how much you AND I have to be thankful for. Am captivated by one particular thought of yours..."Perseverance has paid off. Love always wins." (Forgive me if I use it in a copycat post!) I believe those words to the heart of me, dear! ....and you are proving it out to me....you are bearing evidence of it's truth. Thanks for all you are to us. We love you dearly.
B & P (enven thought P is quietly sleeping!)

steve said...

Beth,
Wow what a great story you posted. First I have never looked at or really even knew what a blog was. I saw the movie Julia and Julia with Lori and that is as close to the blog world I have gotten until this morning when I read your facebook. Any way I really enjoyed your honesty and look at life. I am not sure any of us have really grown up. I think it is just that we mature. Some of us take a little more time. I think sometimes I am in the slow lane. I love people that can be open and vulnerable as you have been on your blog. I miss the times we spent talking and sharing in the past and am happy for where you are now in life. Keep living and enjoying. Sounds like Bill is a great catch. PS we have been following some of your life on facebook it is a cool way to see what is happening in friends lifes so far away from us.

Brian C. Hughes said...

Beth,
Those of us who have only known you a few years but who have grown to know you well see today almost an entirely different person than the one who came into our lives in 2004. Without dropping your best qualities (including energy and passion, loyalty, devotion to God, dedication to your family, etc.), you have gained some new traits that are inspiring. You are much more...stable. What I mean is that you seem to have a much keener awareness of the big picture today than you did 5 years ago. It is actually remarkable, because I would consider you now someone who is gifted at seeing beyond the 'immediate' to the 'fundamental'. I value that in you.

You have accomplished so much. You have the kind of family that is the envy of many. Tony is...awesome. Your boss is...well...you can't have it all. :-)

I just can't tell you how grateful I am this Thanksgiving that you are on the PCC team. I simply cannot imagine doing church without you. You could invest yourself in a lot of places who would gladly have you. Thank you for choosing to be here.

Glad you had a good 'fake Thanksgiving'. I suspect it was actually the real deal.

Anonymous said...

OK Hornsby!

First of all I want to thank the Lord Jesus Christ That I have you as a sister! I am so glad I have Tony as a brother in Christ....and I am so glad I get to do life with you guys.

You know how much I love you and your family and how much I respect you as one of the greatest Praise & Worship people I know. Most of all having you and Tony and the kids around me for my next battle helps me to know how much the Lord loves me. You have blessed me in so many ways and have encouraged me to stand strong, stretch my limits and most of all to seek the Father in all things.

May you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving and may God just pour out blessing upon you that you can even imagine.

Can't wait till Sunday!
poppy

Ktea said...

love you guys! :)

Pilgrim Soul said...

Made me long to be there.

Gerbear said...

Hi Beth, I happened to google this phrase from a song that i remembered from my childhood and a comment you left on "never eat alone" blog popped up because it was the same set of lyrics. I'm trying desperately to remember the name of the song and who it's by. "Hey it's another day, won't you come out and play, so much to see and do..." Could you please email me that info? Thanks! gitto@gmail.com

Daniel said...

Gerbear - I tried to send an email but the address is not valid.

The song is called "The Wake Up Song" by Billy Crockett. It's on the "Red Bird Blue Sky" cd.

The author of 'Don't Eat Alone', Milton Brasher-Cunningham, is co-author of the song and sings on it...

Guy Becker said...

I have been looking for this "Wake Up Song" for quite some time, and I found what I needed here in your blog. Hooray!
Thank you, and I wish you well.
Sincerely,
Guy
p.s. I hope my children will love this, too!