Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sunday Wrap Up And Why I Can't Talk

I have a million words floating around in my head. Time for a bullet list.
  • I am refraining from speaking. This morning, during our second church service, I was singing along with the music while playing (we had three other singers and anything I did was superfluous and pretty much just my own personal church singing time). During the final song of the opening set, I felt something "pop" in my throat. It hurt. I kept trying to swallow and felt like I couldn't. And then I realized that I really couldn't sing anymore. Nothing would come out. Not good. It's gotten a bit better as the day has gone by, but it's certainly cause for concern.
  • Add the Popping Throat Issue to the run-down of every other crazy thing that could happen this week. There's a long list, which has included the necessity of a quite flight to Cleveland and back, along with some changes in our normal living conditions. 
  • Speaking of living conditions, our new kitchen is close to completion, with a usable oven and microwave and some cabinets and drawers with Things In Them (as in silverware and plates). I'm giddy with excitement.
  • Because the kitchen is sort of habitable, we had a big family gathering for lunch today. My mom and dad came, and all the kids were home, and it was glorious. I was bursting with joy the entire time, as we sat around the table and talked. It's been my dream for several years, to have a kitchen big enough to live in, and by live I mean have lots of people in it talking and eating. I hope today is the first of many.
So purdy!
  • My mom was helping to clear the table and wash dishes in the old sink, in the tiny, cramped, no-counter-space old kitchen. She said, "I don't know how in the world you manage to do dishes in here. This would drive me crazy." I said, "Why do you think I've been so depressed?" My mom gets it, and I feel validated. Especially when she said she thought she'd just go sit on the couch and put a blanket over her head and give up. Or something like that. Because that's what I've felt like for months. I feel affirmed.
That's my mom. Uh, and my dad. That's a whole lot of awesome right there.
  • Back to church this morning: Because I wasn't leading on vocals, I focused on playing the keyboard parts and engaging in worship. It was powerful. The church was singing loudly and I felt so completely surrounded in worship, like I haven't in a while. Something transcendental happened today; that thing about our faith, our God, the Holy Spirit, the Mystery that is inexplicable and supernatural. It was a powerful, real moment. Very meaningful for me. Worship changes us. I felt that, today.
  • We have a new member of the household, here to spend a few months helping at the music store and hanging out and we'll see what else. I never thought I'd be living under the same roof as this guy. It's a great blessing and a very good thing.
This kid. Yup.
  • All five kids, plus the new kid, have been here since early Saturday morning. I have reached that stage of parenting life where They Are Gone and then They Come Home, and I realize again the value of perspective. The house is full, and it is wonderful and beautiful and joyful. It will be a bit emptier and quieter tomorrow, and that will also be wonderful and beautiful and joyful. I love my family.


4 comments:

Jan Owen said...

Beth, you may seriously need to see a ENT. Not to be negative but that sounds a little like what happened to Adele. I think it was called a vocal chord hemorhage (sp) and it happened all at once like that. Anyway take care of yourself and don't ignore it!

Brandee Shafer said...

I love all of your kids...even though I only know a few of them, and sorta. I really, really wanted to take Cade to see Music Man, last night, but he was soaking wet when I picked him up from a birthday party just after 7, and I had so much to do for today. I regret I missed it.

I'm not happy about this throat thing. I agree w/ Jan. Please err on the side of caution. Your voice is a big deal and a big part of your life.

annie said...

Take care of yourself, friend.

Mama.Kendall said...

I came across your blog randomly and just had to comment. I love that picture with your mom in it. Everyone looks so happy.