My Boys

Today is the last day of summer break. It is Labor Day.

The boys are headed out the door in the morning for another year of school.

I have mixed feelings.

We took them to PF Chang's today for lunch to celebrate the end of summer; or, more properly, to mourn it, as David said.

We had gift cards. It was an extravagant lunch, with lettuce wraps and ribs and soup and big plates of food. It was a gift to me, to encourage them to try something new, to eat and enjoy.

PF Chang's that has marked some special occasions for me; Tony and I celebrated our first anniversary there. We had a memorable birthday celebration for him on the patio one year. It's "our" place.

Today, I sat at a table for four and watched my boys order and eat a good meal. The conversation was good - not crazy and loud and nonstop, but good, and sensible. Funny at times.

I love the men in this family. I love my sons; the privilege of watching them ease into manhood with confidence and a command of themselves often causes my heart to quiver.

It's different.

Tonight, Daniel walked out of the kitchen, headed for bed; he glanced over his shoulder in response to a joke I made and I saw his father, framed in the space between the doorway and the hall. The tilt of his head, the slight upturn of his grin. It was fleeting but true.

The boys are the best of me and their father. The honest love and wit of their stepdad seeps into them through the conduit of time; lunches like today, moments of repair and respite in the day to day movement of the house. They accumulate it all and gather it into themselves.

They live it out as they grow.

How is it that my mom-of-five heart continues to expand? This is surprising to me. But it happens daily.

I love my boys.

This is stellar. All the "we love to pose for photos" genes were dumped on the girls....