Thursday, December 6, 2012

I Missed It

A few weeks ago, my Facebook status update linked to this event and I wrote, "I wouldn't miss this for all the money in the world!"

Well, I missed it tonight. I had tickets, and plans to go, until I mentioned it to my 13-year old son - along with an apology, because this show was scheduled for the same night and time as the son's Junior High Christmas Band Concert.

Let me just say here that I've been to six Junior High Christmas Band Concerts already. I've heard most of the material - in some cases, six times. I know that the spring concert is the big, exciting one. And I know that the tall, skinny percussionist in the back would only be playing on two songs - a simple tambourine part, and the sleigh bells. No solos or duets, no special appearances - just two songs.

I said, "Dude, I'm really sorry, but I've got tickets for this show, and I've been waiting all year, and your dad's gonna be there at your concert, so I'll just miss it this time."

And this boy - this lanky, easy-going, do-anything-I-ask-without-whining, gets-himself-up-at-6AM-every-morning-without-his-mom's-assistance - this wonderful kid who never complains about anything except a lack of bacon, this boy looks at me and says, "Mom. Kids come first."

There was a beat of silence, and then he said, "It's okay. It's just a concert. No big deal."

He thought the conversation was over, but it wasn't. As most important things do, it rolled around in my heart until it started to crack.

My heart, that is.

I had one chance to see Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God this year, to fall under the spell of this music in a new way, since it was ingrained in me after our own performance last year. They come through Richmond every two years; it will be 24 months before I get another opportunity.

My boy only has one 7th grade Christmas concert. This was it. And though his great attitude is sincere, the first words out of his mouth demonstrated a more honest reaction.

And an honest conviction. He knows I believe that kids come first.

He just needed to remind me that what I do matters more than what I say.

For the record, I gave my tickets away, and I do believe the people who went in my place were more blessed than I every would have been. I've been grouchy and a bit sad all day - even though I know I made the right decision - but in the end, everybody was where they belonged tonight.

Especially me.


Brandee Shafer said...

I'm (always) glad I got to see you!

Lindsay said...

This makes me somewhat sad...I kept picturing you a couple of blocks from my house last night and smiling at the thought of what you would experience. But kudos to you mama, kudos to you. Still smiling because you are SUCH a great mama, person, woman. <3 you.