All Of My Life, In Every Season

What a weekend.

I'm sitting in an unusual pile of repressed emotions.  So much going on, so many life events and circumstances triggering varying emotional responses...I need a good cry, but I despair of having the time for that luxury.

My eldest child graduates.

My mom hosts the entire family - ex's included - for a lunch, gracefully offering hospitality and a huge dollop of forgiveness.

One of my dearest friends and favorite musical partner ever moves out of our arena and into his own; we sang together today for what might be the last time this side of heaven.

My emotional reserves are spent, with lots of social activities and interactions.  The introvert in me is huddled in a corner of my soul, hands over her head, shaking and pleading, "No more....please, no more..."

My hormones are raging in unfamiliar ways.  Something uncontrollable seems to be happening to my body.  All the internal, physical and emotional issues aside, the primary problem is that my clothes don't fit.  I hate it.

My life feels very cluttered and out of control right now.  I am longing for some quiet organization, some calm.

And yet - I could not ask for better circumstances.  

Isn't it interesting how we humans can become so absorbed in the little glitches of life, missing all the level-headed joy springing up all around us? John Ortberg once said, "Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is to take a nap." I'm hoping that might clear out the clutter in my soul.  And I'm hoping that a little perspective will do the same.  The greatest truth I can find is in the undeniable existence of God.  Firm on His promise, I'll stand.

This is my prayer in the desert when all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger and need
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me, Lord, through the flames

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life, in every season
You are still God, I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've received I will sow