Wednesday, October 6, 2010
In The Dark
And the past few weeks of preparing for the new stuff have paid off.
It's been stressful. I am comfortable on the fly, which is a great skill to have except that sometimes it makes people hate you. On your own, spontaneity is awesome. When you drag other people with you, not so much. During the past year, I've really tried to work on my lack of appreciation of the fact that others aren't wired like me, and that to expect them to just deal with that and come along for the ride is patently unfair.
So I'm trying to do better at planning.
Launching some new stuff at work has meant LOTS of planning. And I'm trying to do better, but that doesn't mean it's easy. But I've dug in. I asked for help, and ended up working alongside some awesome, high capacity folks. We've shared the load, and things are moving along. I've invested time over the past several weeks in preparation, paperwork, planning, scheduling, etc. - all the stuff I detest, to put it mildly. It has NOT been easy, and my temper and time have both been short.
But this week, three new initiatives launched: a new leadership class on Sunday, a brand new small group on Monday and a new group called Worship Leaders Workshop tonight.
And my stress level this week? Here's the bonus: Pretty much non-existent.
Planning pays off, and I really enjoyed myself this week - which is usual when I am leading. I'm comfortable in that role. But this week was even sweeter, because all the prep work allowed me and those around me to be completely at ease. It made things go very smoothly. It made me better.
Best of all was the way everything culminated this evening; our worship leaders' gathering was fascinating, as we shared stories about our life journeys and got to know each other a bit. We dimmed the lights and had a few moments of worship, just singing together. It was intimate and powerful, familiar songs and melodies ringing through the room, harmonies pieced together naturally, hands lifted and tears flowing.
Makes me grateful for every part of my life. I cling to the scripture that acknowledges we are continually "working out our salvation with fear and trembling". Sometimes, it seems like every step I take is tentative and shaky. Even if I planned ahead.
But that's not really such a bad place to be. Especially if you can sing in the dark for a while.