One Word: Reverb10

December 1 – One Word
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 - Transition

Undoubtedly, this year has been marked by change. A friend at church who led a seminar on how to offer support to those in crisis said that he used me as an example of folks who might be close to the edge when it comes to life change.

Funny, that - because on the surface, I continue to keep it all together. And more so than in years past, that foundation is literal and true. I feel more solid and believe that I am, indeed, standing on firmer ground than ever before.

But oh, the changes - they have been many!

A few bullet points and highlights:

• There is the marriage - after six years of fierce independence, raising five children to some semblance of responsibility and decency and righting the ship of shame and despair (with Divine Guidance), a new commitment and new family dynamic. We count the months, one by one, and celebrate with gusto. I value this man and the daily struggle to be partnered rather than solo. I am better for it.
• There was a challenging illness, a story that remains quietly sequestered until the heroine chooses to tell it. Suffice it to say that we were cracked but not shattered, and our family is stronger for the faultline that showed itself; because the love required for the repair came in hard and strong and intending to stay.
• There is the daughter who moved out, starting a new life as a college student. Independent and anxious to fly away, her departure changed the entire atmosphere in our daily routine. We miss her, but we are astounded at how her wings have grown.
• There is the son who has flourished in a new school, standing tall and reveling in discovering a sense of self that has been hidden.
• Four teenagers. One eleven-year-old. Need I say more?
• There is the job that continues to grow and expand and pulsate with new opportunities. Claiming a place in church leadership is a daily wonder. The sheer numerical growth has forced me to rethink what is required of me in this role, and it causes my head to spin. Change or die, every day.
• There is the new husband finishing a hard-earned college degree, one that he pursued over a lifetime; and feeling led toward establishing a new business venture. Rethinking expectations and considering additional risks - setting out for more transitions, inviting them, in fact. And praying.
• Feeling the time is right for ordination, a well-defined and intentional declaration of devotion to the local church and to the God I love. The internal transition necessary to see myself as More Than A Piano Player has been grating, gratifying and not altogether pleasant. But worth it.
• Seeing cancer grab hold of ones I love, and processing how to walk through These Days without the crushing weight of sorrow. Gauging when to mourn and when to bless; it is not easily discerned....

And for 2011?

I aim to claim this word:

Expectant

**Part of a writing prompt project for December designed by Reverb10. Check them out and join in!