Thursday, June 17, 2010

On Almost Six Months Of Marriage

I've been married now for almost six months. Long enough for us to have gotten comfortable with one another, even though every day brings us new experiences. Short enough to have our heads spinning from everything that's happened in the past few months.

We've had a lot of changes in our family. In the midst of it all, we're learning how to live together, how to accommodate one another, how we each deal with crisis.

We've learned to be clear and frank about what it is we like and dislike. What we need and could do without.

Part of me was utterly terrified about getting married again. There were so many ways things could go south. I had gotten pretty comfortable living on my own. Crossing the line from 'single' to 'married' at this point meant some major life changes. After six years, I'd figured out who I was as a single mom. To be married meant a total new life definition. It meant changes would be ahead. It would be a call to a selflessness that I wasn't sure I could muster. It was a huge risk for me; to place that level of trust in someone was overwhelmingly frightening and a real challenge to my insecurities.

What if he realized, after a few days/weeks/months that he realy didn't like me? What if he changed his mind?

I've had to own all that stuff and more, to be honest about my fears and concerns. To listen to his. To learn more about love and respect and what matters most.

It takes work. It's not always easy.

But there's something so solid underneath even the hard times. I've long believed that in order to be in a healthy relationship, I had to be healthy first. I think I'm a lot closer to that today than ever before.

And this man is solid, too. Decent and kind. Authentic. And pretty firm in his commitment; he hasn't changed his mind.

I'm glad I'm married. I'm think this in one of life's finest opportunities to feel the full force of our belief that God's mercies are new every morning.

Indeed, they are.


Anonymous said...

Dear Beth & Tony,

When God brought the 2 of you together he not only blessed you, but he blessed all of us who get to be part of your lives.
We are so proud of you both and love you for the couple God is making you!
B & J

Brian C. Hughes said...

Yea, you guys are a great match. Tony is so perfect for you...

Danny Buetow said...

Tracy and I are very happy for you both. Finding happiness is not always an easy task, and love can be somewhat harder. For you, it's been 6 months. For Tracy and I, it has been 8 years. I wish for you all of the happiness we have known and more!